The more independent you become in your way of thinking and existing, the harder it becomes to remain confined within parameters of it.
I’ve always walked to the beat of my own drum in some kind of way. Once I turned 18 and moved away to attend college, thus began my journey into discovering who I really was independent of my family. Slowly but surely, I began to grow into myself and discover so many new things in regards to health, his-story, and the Earthly plane we live upon. I started to shed a lot of beliefs and ideas that had been given to me. My beliefs about religion, health, the power of the body & mind were changing in more ways than one.
Little did I know, this experience of shedding beliefs, ideas, and systems would continue throughout the course of my life. I quickly learned that there are layers upon layers of programming that we have been subjected to on so many levels. The minute we think we have arrived at the ultimate truth, we will quickly discover that too was yet another program. Yet, the programs are relevant to our beliefs, ideas, and perspectives at that moment in life. So, I suppose they serve their purpose in that way.
Every new inner-standing came with it a new way of operating and moving through life. New perspectives brought on new words, physical appearances, spiritual practices, and lifestyle changes. Some of the new modalities have become my new way of processing and living, while others have been shed along the way.
My perception and perspective of the medical system as it relates to birth and overall health has drastically shifted throughout the years. I remember when I began watching women give birth outside of the hospital via TLC and videos after the birth of my first child. I was so captivated by the fact that women could give birth inside of their homes free of any drugs or medical interventions. I knew it was something I wanted to try and thus began my journey into birthing outside of the system.
I had to take baby steps. I knew birthing at home was something I wanted to try, but I wasn’t quite sure of how to make it happen and a bit afraid. So, I decided I would birth our son Jahari in the hospital, but without any medication. He was born at the hospital and this was my first unmedicated birth. It was amazing and although I screamed for an epidural when I arrived at the hospital, I a m grateful that I was too far along to receive one. The feeling I felt knowing that my body birthed a baby without any drugs was a powerful one. My first child, Layla was born in the hospital and I received an epidural. While nothing went wrong and she was a healthy, happy baby, I knew after birthing our son that way of birthing was no longer for me.
So, when I became pregnant with baby number 3, I knew what time it was. It was time to go all in! Yet, having a midwife in the state I was living in was illegal at that time and I had no idea how I would find a midwife that was willing to accompany me at my birth. But, I knew what I wanted. So, I researched and called doulas and midwives in the area. One of the doulas’s gave me the number to a Black midwife in the area and thus began my journey to having my first water home-birth. She said if I found her that she was my midwife and she wasn’t at all concerned with the legalities of it all.
She was very hands off in her approach to birth and would go off somewhere in the house while mu husband and I were birthing our baby together. She was there when needed, but never tried to micromanage my experience.
There are so many emotions you go through when you’re doing something like having a home birth when home births are not nearly as popular as they are today. I remember the comments and disapproval family would give when i shared my plans. I quickly learned that people fear what they don’t know or over-stand. We have been brainwashed on so many levels about so many things, that when we are presented with the truth or a new perspective, it is sometimes impossible to accept it. I also had to learn that not being accepted was okay and that it is sometimes the price that has to be paid for going against the grain.
I am happy to say that Kyree was my first home birth. He was born at home in the water and he was perfect. No complications, no hemorrhage, no tears, and no medical drama. I even encapsulated my placenta with help of my mom and Doula at that time after my birth. My recovery time was unbelievably fast compared to giving birth in the hospital with an epidural and I was once again amazed by my body’s innate power.
You see, birth isn’t suppose to be a medicalized event that requires an abundance of nurses, equipment, and drugs. Our bodies are intelligent. The placenta is the only organ the body produces only to expel it when the time is right. Our body knows how to birth a baby, yet the medical establishment has women thinking that their body will in fact fail them and that there always has to be some type of medical professional present.
This is in fact not true.
You have the power and ability to birth your baby free of the ramifications of the medical establishment. No, I’m not anti-medical establishment, but I am for women having full autonomy over their bodies and the way in which they choose to bring life into this world. We have given our power away in so many ways, and its’ time we take it back. It wasn’t theirs to have in the first place.
Look for yourself and you will see when and how birth became the way it is today. You will discover that there was a group of individuals and various organizations that came together to modernize and monopolize off of the birth of women. It is also unsettling that many of the individuals within these organizations and families were men. There are many terminologies utilized by ob-gyn’s and midwives that are named after men. Women (especially Black women) were forbidden to offer care to birthing women within their communities. They were forced to become educated via the system or lose their right to hold space and be present for births they had been attending for years and years.
This was all intentional.
As a result of this, c-sections, epidurals, oxytocin, lying in bed, and induction are seen as normal and needed parts of birth and labor. Women’s emotions are used to coerce them into inductions and c-sections based upon unwarranted fear. In reality, none of those things are needed. Unfortunately, hearing horror stories about women’s experiences birthing in hospitals or dying during birth or within days/weeks after having a baby has become all to familiar to many that do birth work.
It became increasingly hard for me to be present for births within hospitals or home births that looked and operated a lot like medical births.
I knew this wasn’t what I had in mind when I decided to do birth work in my community. Something always felt off. Even the home birth midwifery community didn’t feel like home. This is when I dropped out of midwifery school and decided that I would rather not do birth-work if it meant operating within the parameters of the medical system. I decided to let birth-work come to me and that I wold await an opportunity to work with and learn from individuals doing birth work with similar perspectives as mine.
I have met many women who do birth work that are uncomfortable with working within the system. Yet, they are afraid to completely let go of it and practice true autonomous birth. We are all afraid in a sense. Fear of stepping out on our own and putting ourselves out there keeps us stuck within the parameters of a system that is seriously failing women.
There has to be another way.
There is another way and there is no way I can sit back and be afraid to be seen and heard within my community. I know there are others that want to have full autonomy
over their body and birth. I know there are women who want to birth in power and welcome the support of birth workers who get how they feel.
If you are this woman, then I am here.
Here to assist you.
Here to sit with you.
Here to share with you.
Here to help you birth in power.
I am here for you.
For others, I may not be for you. And that is okay too. My style and perspective on birth are not for everyone-and that is okay with me, but for those of you that want to take back your power and align with the intuitive power that resides within you, I’m happy to assist you in that process.
It is your birthright to have an autonomous intuitive birth.
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